She still holds on to her past (#204).
I thought my relationship problem was beyond repair, so I became a muster when you try to create love in me, I will make you feel terrible about yourself (hmm so bad).
It might not be my fault altogether, all this happened because I experienced an awful situation at the hands of my ex-husband who led me to be who I am today, I know my story can be judged by people very quickly, but I don’t care.
I was married to one of the most loving and caring husbands I have ever known, he showed me too much love and treated me like a baby.
He wins my heart with the things he does, he makes me fall for all of them and find a special place in my heart just for him alone, he blinds me with his love and makes me deaf with his sweet words.
With everything he did to convince me to be his loving wedded wife, I was convinced by his beautiful actions, I was willing to accept his proposal.
I was happy I married the man of my dreams, who loved, respected and treated me fairly as a child of God that was the man I married three years ago.
After three years of marriage, we got separated I was heartbroken, and even though things turned around, I was so surprised when things started going bad, that I tried to seat my husband down so we could solve our differences.
But my husband was so adamant he did not even want to hear my voice, he grew hatred for me, I was no more that beautiful queen he used to see, and he worked out anytime I tried to be around him.
To make things worse he called for divorce, which was the most shocking news to me ever in my life, I was so devastated I lost my mind, he chose to live with me, with my three kids.
I cried day in and day out, seems like he was just too nice to me to get hold of me, he beat me, abused me and did not take care of the family any longer, it was painful for me and my three kids.
I later signed the divorce paper and tried to move on with my kids, God blessed me with a good job and I took care of my kids, with everything they needed, which helped me to forget about my stress (my ex-husband).
Because of that, I see men as lies, whatever men say or do reflects my memory of my ex-husband, and I don’t even think of giving a chance to any man anymore.
As much as I needed someone to be with or call my partner, on the other hand, I did not want to give my heart to men, I kept losing good men, I sometimes get hurt by my feelings, but I’m afraid of men.
There is this nice guy who loves me, and I can tell I love him too, he is connected to me and my kids, my kids always want to be with him but I keep restricting them, so they can not get emotionally close to him.
I try my best to discourage him, even though sometimes he almost gives up on us, but the love for me and my kids is so special, he always stays and loves us the most.
My question is, should I give him a chance, I don’t want to go close anymore to marriage or get kids.
My name is Sia and this is my story.
Have a successful week.
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